The Clock is Ticking

I now have less than one month until I leave this beautiful little island. If acceptance is the first step, then I made some progress in that direction when I attended a "Repatriation Workshop" recently. For a small fee and the promise of a complimentary glass of wine, I figured it would be worthwhile even if I only went away with a couple valuable nuggets. Brian dubbed it, "Learning How to Be American Again." He was happy to let me represent our family that evening.

I joined about 20 fellow expats for the seminar that split time between discussing the logistics of an international move and the emotional side of returning to one's country of origin. If someone was trying to decide whether they should extend their time in Singapore, just listening to the moving company representatives would have motivated them to stay here. 

My head began to hurt (more wine, please!) while contemplating all the logistics we will need to consider when packing up our place to move back home. It will require some skillful planning on my part to divide our stuff into what to leave here for Brian's remaining time, what to ship by air, what to ship by sea and what we need to carry with us on the plane. All I could think is that Brian set aside all his clothes on his dresser for a recent trip and I didn't even manage to successfully pack it all in the suitcase! Perhaps I should just aim to avoid being one of the people they spoke about at the workshop who accidentally packed their passports into the sea shipment.

A counselor then addressed the emotional side of an international move and basically associated repatriation with a return to reality. I agreed wholeheartedly with this concept as I've always felt I've been living in a bubble for the past few years. Apparently the main danger lies in thinking that going "home" will be a piece of cake. She touched on several issues that may need to be addressed.

• What does the family financial picture look like? We will no longer enjoy the monetary perks associated with expat life and with all the travel we've done, we haven't exactly kept a normal budget in quite some time.
• What will each family member be doing upon return? In what ways is that different to what they have been doing? My guess is that Brian gets acquainted with American Airlines again.
• What in your lifestyle will change? Hmmm. Pretty much everything.
• Who will assume the responsibilities that we have let our helpers handle while we've been here? I already know the answer to that one and intend to find a weekly house cleaner and a good babysitter. I will also buy a really nice iron.
• How will your free time change? See above comment about the iron.
• What does extended family back home expect of you? I joked with my sister that I'll have to get used to family calling us again. For the past few years, we've initiated all the phone calls.

 I found the workshop worthwhile and I appreciated the counselor's observation that everyone in attendance had successfully established a home in at least one foreign country and that as long as we are aware of the challenges surrounding our upcoming move, we will handle that transition just as well.

The counselor also recommended a book called Homeward Bound by Robin Pascoe that addresses the challenges of repatriation for the trailing spouse. Not surprisingly, there were several copies available at the SAS library and I have found some useful bits of advice there as well. I recognized my own thinking when the author mentioned the misguided notion that after repatriation, nothing interesting will happen again. It's easy for me to fall into that line of thought when even a simple daily task like driving around town will seem so mundane without sharing the road with Singaporean taxi drivers.

So, for those who will see more of us in the coming months after our return, please understand that while we are excited to live closer to family and friends again, it will take time to adjust to our new (old) environment. I am fully aware of what we are leaving behind in Singapore, so I am doing my best to enjoy my remaining time here while focusing on the positive aspects of life back in Texas. I believe my children will handle the move only as well as I do and that will help me keep my chin up while I reacquaint myself with life as a suburban Texas housewife again.

And speaking of the girls, I was pleased to discover that SAS offers assistance to students leaving. Megan has regularly scheduled meetings with her third grade counselor for the rest of the year where they will address any fears Megan has about moving. While she and I have talked quite a bit about the changes ahead, I'm happy the school has provided space for her to prepare for the move as well.

Now if we can just make sure everything and everyone ends up in the right place!